I can't sleep. I went to bed early because I have to work at 5:30 in the morning. This was in vain though. Now I can't sleep.
I find my mind is filled with jumbled thoughts. I've been thinking about the future lately. Mostly about where I'm going to live come the fall, whether or not I will have enough money to go to school and live, how I will work my schedule so that I don't end up doing my internship at an awkward time, that sort of thing. There are other thoughts and questions I have about the future, but I probably won't discuss them in this very public journal of mine.
My mind has also been wandering to the past. It has wandered to memories of past relationships, friendships which have been neglected for far to long, pictures of a life before now. It has also begun to criticize every decision I've made within the past few years. Have my decisions lead me to a place of sleeplessness due to my worry of the future?
I know I am supposed to dwell in the present, but my mind wanders.
On another note, I tried silence today. Unfortunately the best I could get was the buzz of power lines, electrocuting the damp air surrounding it. This peaceful hum was interrupted occasionally by the sound of a bird, distant vehicle, or band saw. Needless to say, I left the spot because I feared the threat of cancer that loomed above me.
5 things to be thankful for
3 years ago
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1 comment:
I tried silence once, but it was missing something.
I agree with the sentiment of your post. Heavy sleep is almost impossible when one's thoughts are heavier.
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