Ontairo

So, I came home for a bit and here are the highlights so far.

Hanging out with Tom Hard in his super hick town and driving around in his jeep with the top down, doors off, blaring Maylene and the Sons of Disaster. Good times.

and...

Seeing Silas in the Airport and eating really shitty Nachos from an un-named Kelsey's restaurant right by the secure area in the Calgary airport. Oh well, the beer and company were awesome.

Today has been pretty lame so far. I never know what to do when I go home. I should've called someone or even hoped on my brother's bike and gone down to the lake. Instead, I slept in and did nothing all day. I did listen to a sweet Pod-Cast interview with Shane Claiborne. It's worth a listen.  But besides that, the rest of the day was pretty lame.

Speaking of lame, don't bother listening to The Tremulance. In fact, don't even click on this link. I mean, "You've Got the Girl." Who does this guy even think he is? Someone who knows me, because I definitely do not have the girl. Or was he referring to himself? I don't think anyone who writes such lame music could even hope of getting a girl. Lame.

So was this post.

Confession

I bad mouthed a friend behind their back today. I really had no reason to, if there really is any reason to at all. This friend has actually done so much for me and I really had no right to be doing that.

What made matters worse was that when I realized all of this, I didn't just quietly stop. Instead, I announced that I was stopping and said that trash talking people was an unacceptable activity. This was probably done to make myself look good, a last ditch attempt at saving face. But let me ask you, who trash talks a friend behind their back in order to prove the activity unacceptable and hope to come out of it looking good.

Apparently I'm still learning.

Someday, I Hope to Learn

I feel the need to write, so I will write. Besides, it's been a while since you've heard any of my useless ramblings. The truth is, I haven't written in a while for two reasons...

The first was that my computer up and died on me during fathers day. I lost everything. Luckily I was able to salvage most of my music because it was on my iPod, and thankfully, my friend had a copy of all my pictures from India. Everything else though - all my year's assignments, all my pictures from the year, songs that I had been working on - they are all gone.

Through this experience, I not only learned the lesson of backing up my files, but I learned how much exactly I depend on this little piece of machinery. I realized how much I had been suckered into the lie of consumerism. I felt like Jack from the book (yes the book) Fight Club right after his apartment exploded, strewing pieces of swedish designer furniture all over the street below. All I needed was that last piece of furniture, that last Ikea sofa, and then my life would be happy. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how quickly my earthly possessions could be taken away from me and further more, how much it would cost me to get that piece of my "life back." As Tyler Durden would say, "The things you own, they begin to own you." I buy the computer to serve me. It crashes, needs a new hard drive, operating system, and it's probably a good idea to buy a $200 back up drive. Soon, I begin serving my computer. 

Materialism is a bitch aint it?

The second reason I haven't written in a while is because of the stuff I've been going through lately. It's difficult to write on my life lately in a public blog and remain truthful, so I will remain general. Let's just say I've been realizing as of late that I've had a few mixed priorities, girl confusions, and old habits creep back. It's getting me down lately and it sucks because I feel I have no outlet to inlet to. My mentor says that it's best to know and be known, but straight up, I'm afraid that certain people will somehow stumble upon the know and interpret it all wrong. Already I've written a few things that could be interpreted all wrong. 

Maybe I should look into a more private journal. Does such a thing exist? Is there a point to writing if no one will read it?

Let me know anyways.

For now, I think I'll go read Ecclesiastes and learn that all of this is smoke and mirrors. 

Someday, I hope that it will sink in.

Blog Got a Facelift

Again, this is a product of me putting off sleep.
Hope you like it.

A Full Mind Makes for a Difficult Sleep

I can't sleep. I went to bed early because I have to work at 5:30 in the morning. This was in vain though. Now I can't sleep.

I find my mind is filled with jumbled thoughts. I've been thinking about the future lately. Mostly about where I'm going to live come the fall, whether or not I will have enough money to go to school and live, how I will work my schedule so that I don't end up doing my internship at an awkward time, that sort of thing. There are other thoughts and questions I have about the future, but I probably won't discuss them in this very public journal of mine.

My mind has also been wandering to the past. It has wandered to memories of past relationships, friendships which have been neglected for far to long, pictures of a life before now. It has also begun to criticize every decision I've made within the past few years. Have my decisions lead me to a place of sleeplessness due to my worry of the future?

I know I am supposed to dwell in the present, but my mind wanders.

On another note, I tried silence today. Unfortunately the best I could get was the buzz of power lines, electrocuting the damp air surrounding it. This peaceful hum was interrupted occasionally by the sound of a bird, distant vehicle, or band saw. Needless to say, I left the spot because I feared the threat of cancer that loomed above me.

Dreams

We will always want the things we can not have.

10 Seconds of Fame... Sort of.

What is it about being on TV that excites us so much? Why is it every time we see a news crew we are tempted to jump in-front of the camera and scream, "Hi Mom!" 

Take my recent story for example.

The BC Lions - a football team apart of the Canadian Football League, or CFL - are holding their training camp in the sports field park and stadium complex about 2 minutes walk from where I'm living. I bike by their training sessions almost everyday on my way to work, friends, or even church, and yet I'm not particularly excited or even moved by the fact that they are here. In fact, I'm more worried about being smacked in the head with a football, falling off my bike, and embarrassing myself at work when I explain what happened. Besides training in my back yard, the Lions are staying at my College. They eat their meals in my school's Cafeteria and sleep in the college's residence buildings, (all two of them). However, I am never caught up in the fact that some, overly sized, ex-high-school jerk - I mean jock - I mean incredibly gifted athlete who happens to run around, catch things, and hit people for a living - is right now sleeping in the same bed I slept in little over a month ago. No, I have not cared really that the BC Lions are here.

That is, until this evening.

Me and Dan had just finished watching Adam Sandler's beautiful movie, Reign Over Me, (watch it,) and happened to stumble across the news. After a story on how the Pittsburgh Penguins are dragging on the Hockey Season for far too long, the anchor said, "And now we go to Abbotsford where the BC Lions are training in Greg and Dan's backyard." Well, didn't really say that, but the mention of Abbotsford caught our attention. What followed was some story about two professional ball catchers who were duke-ing it out over some position on the team. I think that was what the story was about anyways, Dan and I weren't paying attention. What we were paying attention to was the footage of the football field we can see from our house, the school we spend most of our time 8 months of the year, and our favorite lunch lady, all of which on national television. This is when I - possibly we - got excited.

But why? 

I guess it was because we were seeing our neighborhood get some recognition. We were famous!

But that doesn't make any sense. In fact, not only did I jump from our school and neighborhood to us - which is completely unrealistic - I don't think anyone would have cared. What do I mean? Well, my friends or family who might have seen that story - which I doubt because it was on at 11:30 at night, pacific standard time - wouldn't be able to associate me with any of that footage. Anyone else watching it would be thinking about the BC Lions and the story surrounding these two players, not the field they were playing on.

10 seconds of fame got to my head, and it wasn't even a real 10 seconds of fame. I fell into the trap every person in the background of Much On Demand fell into. It's not even real fame. No one watching the knows you or even cares that your there. Yet, why do we fall into this trap again and again? Why is fame so appealing to us?

I do have to admit though; it was cool seeing my favorite lunch lady on national TV.

Week's End

Last weekend, I was bored. I've spent the last month siting on my butt, being unemployed. It's not a fun position to be in. So, last weekend, I did my research on the Greater Vancouver Area Transit System, tuned up my bike, and downloaded a whole bunch of new music and uploaded it onto my broken and worn out old iPod. Tuesday morning came and I hoped on my bike and pedaled my way to Aldergrove, caught a bus which took me to a train which took me to a bus which took me to another bus which took me to a ferry which eventually took me to family and friends in the beautiful city of Victoria. Run-on sentences aside, the following are a few random thoughts from my little adventure. 

1. I am new to public transit so I've picked up on a few trends of this public marvel. Most of these rules are common sense; Have your fare ready before you get on the bus, make sure to give seating priority to senior citizens and mothers with strollers; that sort of commonality. There are a few that stuck out however. 

The first one I noticed was the siting/standing rule. Buses get to a point when there are no more seats left and people have to stand at that point. There is also a point when people get off the bus, leaving their seat empty. When this happens, the person closest to the empty seat will announce that there is an empty seat for someone to sit in. Under no circumstances however, should anyone take this seat (with the exception, of course, of senior citizens and the handicapped). Taking this seat would announce to the rest of the bus that - out of all the people standing - you are the most important and deserving of that seat, introducing a sort of hierarchal system into the scene. This, as we all know, is completely inappropriate in Canadian Society focused on ensuring that everyone is equal. The flaw of this rule is that it leaves the seat unused and implies the fact that the seat maker has a useless profession. That is just my thought anyways.

The second rule of public transit is that no one should talk under any circumstances. There are, however, two groups of people who are exempt from this rule. The first group are those annoying and loud cellphone talkers who believe everyone in the bus should hear their one sided conversation about the latest office gossip. The second group are the crazies who have the amazing ability to carry on a conversation with their imaginary friends. 

2. Bikes are large and suck to have on the sky train.

3. Come to think about it, I probably didn't need my bike at all on this trip.

4. I was thinking... is it acceptable, or even possible for one to backpack across Canada - or anywhere in Canada for that matter - when they are indeed Canadian themselves?

5. I've decided that Victoria is my favorite city, even if it lives under the constant threat of level 9 earthquake. I love the atmosphere, the architecture, the cool shops, eccentric cafés, the ocean, all the green space, and the fact that I have family there. Victoria is the most beautiful city I know, it is always sunny there, and I believe it has the largest population of hippies, long boarders, and hippy long boarders of any city in Canada. Note to self; If I ever have the balls to date again, I'm going to bring her on an epic date to Victoria. Maybe I shouldn't share that with the world...

7. I love the sun! I love summer! 

6. Thanks to baby Dorian (or the bird as the affectionately call him in the Culp home) and 2 straight hours of holding him and pacing back and forth the living room just to keep him from screaming, I found myself, for a brief moment, never wanting children. Ethier that or I will adopt when they are past the "hold my 20 pound little body for two hours and walk in 300 circles around this limited space or else I'll scream in your face" phase. 

This statement is might not be exactly true, but let it be known all women ages 16 - 35, children aren't always cute, especially when they throw up all over you.

7. I really do love kids though.

8. When you have 5 beers and a glass of scotch in your system and you start talking about class nine earth quakes and how Victoria is expecting one within the next 987 years, you swear that you start seeing the lamp next to you shake and start hearing the ground rumble. It's all in your head though... or maybe in the 5 beers you just drank. 

9. I hope that earthquake doesn't happen on my epic date.

10. Albums enjoyed on this trip:

Bob Marley - One Love (Greatest Hits)

The Subways - Young for Eternity

Ratatat - LP3 (I mean... I don't have that yet... how could I? It hasn't been released.)

Cut Copy - In Ghost Colours

Battles - Mirrored

Iron and Wine - Woman King

MSTRKRFT - The Looks

Cold War Kids - Robbers and Cowards

Led Zeppelin - Mothership (also a greatest hits compilation)

11. You can find my sorry attempt at photography here.

12. This was bloody long, I wonder if anyone will even read this. Feel free to comment. It feeds my ego.