The first was that my computer up and died on me during fathers day. I lost everything. Luckily I was able to salvage most of my music because it was on my iPod, and thankfully, my friend had a copy of all my pictures from India. Everything else though - all my year's assignments, all my pictures from the year, songs that I had been working on - they are all gone.
Through this experience, I not only learned the lesson of backing up my files, but I learned how much exactly I depend on this little piece of machinery. I realized how much I had been suckered into the lie of consumerism. I felt like Jack from the book (yes the book) Fight Club right after his apartment exploded, strewing pieces of swedish designer furniture all over the street below. All I needed was that last piece of furniture, that last Ikea sofa, and then my life would be happy. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how quickly my earthly possessions could be taken away from me and further more, how much it would cost me to get that piece of my "life back." As Tyler Durden would say, "The things you own, they begin to own you." I buy the computer to serve me. It crashes, needs a new hard drive, operating system, and it's probably a good idea to buy a $200 back up drive. Soon, I begin serving my computer.
Materialism is a bitch aint it?
The second reason I haven't written in a while is because of the stuff I've been going through lately. It's difficult to write on my life lately in a public blog and remain truthful, so I will remain general. Let's just say I've been realizing as of late that I've had a few mixed priorities, girl confusions, and old habits creep back. It's getting me down lately and it sucks because I feel I have no outlet to inlet to. My mentor says that it's best to know and be known, but straight up, I'm afraid that certain people will somehow stumble upon the know and interpret it all wrong. Already I've written a few things that could be interpreted all wrong.
Maybe I should look into a more private journal. Does such a thing exist? Is there a point to writing if no one will read it?
Let me know anyways.
For now, I think I'll go read Ecclesiastes and learn that all of this is smoke and mirrors.
Someday, I hope that it will sink in.
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6 comments:
Greg, you're awesome. Keep being awesome, and pray lots. Read Psalm 100, and be encoraged. You know the truth, and I have seen you live out this truth, and live what you have learned.
You're so real, and so gifted, and have so much to give to people, so keep giving and seeking so you can overflow all the more.
Hope to see you soon :)
-Alicia
I made the unfortunate mistake of meeting a friend for coffee at 11pm last night, and I came across your blog whilst in a flurry of jittery insomnia when I got home a few hours later... I don't have amazing words of encouragement or comfort for you (in fact, I feel like a n00b posting after the other comment you were left, geez, talk about inspirational and uplifting!), but I DO have something for you, that I hope I can get to you before you leave. Message me, let's get coffee :)
1) read this. it changed my outlook on the way i look at culture [it pertains to your fight club reference] http://www.thismagazine.ca/issues/2002/11/rebelsell.php
2) greg, you are a wonderful guy and one of the most genuinley kind people i've ever met. whatever is going on and bothering you will pass. please be "selfish" for a second and think about what will be best for you in the long run, in conjunction to the feelings of others. you deserve to be happy: please remember this.
3) "I feel I have no outlet to inlet to." - that's a really beautiful use of language. GOLD STAR!
post script: i don't really think that fight club feeds into the consumerism of rebellion in the same way american beauty and ad busters does. i think it's powerful. but the article is something to sit on for a while.
First of all, thank you so much. I am so blessed to have such amazing friends. I truly mean that.
Alicia: Thank you for the verse, I will be reading it shortly. And Thank you for the encouragement.
Amy: IT was good to run into you today, no matter how awkward it was. I hope we get to hang out on friday for a little while. Thanks for the encouragement as well. It really does mean more than you would think. Thanks for supporting me even though you are going through crap right now.
Kayla: Thank you for your words, you always seem to have to know the perfect ones. It must come with being an english major eh? haha. And where do you find all your articles anyways? That one was an interesting read for sure, something I've wrestled with myself. Hopefully we'll get to hang when I'm home and we can chat bout it a bit! Can't wait!
Yes, I believe there is a point to writing even if no one will read it. I find writing things down clears the head, it's a kind of therapy, I'm not sure how it works but there's something about physically getting out words that seems to help the mind. This is why I've left my blogspot almost unidentifiable, except I haven't gotten around to nearly as many blogs as I've planned. Maybe there's certain things you're not ready for others to see, I understand that completely, and I say write it somewhere anyway and see if it helps. Maybe it'll be ready for someone to read one day, and if not it doesn't matter. And about whatever you're going through, there's always friends to just listen.
Life without a ying yang coffee table would be rough, man.
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